i'm slowly trying to prove to my teammates that i can cook, and do it well too. living in community generally makes me have try harder at alot of things. the cooking thing is just one silly example. i realized i need to stand up for what i believe is right, even if my teammates disagree. it's tough, man. because we're all different and we disagree alot. i wouldn't give up this situation though. i love learning how to deal with people and differences. i want to be a better person. i want to learn how to "...if at all possible, be at peace with all men."

i wanted to cry last night. it was tough talking to my teammates. i often thought they wouldn't recieve what i say. but they do recieve what i say. i just needed to say what it is i believe in. we talked it through and came to an agreement. it takes time and alot of effort. but it's worth it to get over the issue and see that it's finally resolved.

i need to be bold! when we went to teen camp in maryland a few years back pastor sutton kept saying boldness, boldness, boldness. i need to be bold for God. he wasn't preaching that to everyone. he said it only to me when we talked. i went to see my friend cary one time. i drove nine hours to see her. i realized the reason i was compelled to visit her was because God gave me a word through her father when he preached the sunday morning right before i left. he said that i need to stand up for what i believe. i need to make a stand. and the times i visited john marc. he told me i was like joshua, scouting out God's promises and bringing vision and hope to God's people. to me joshua was a leader in training. he had boldness and faith to pray to God that the sun would stand still. i was reminded of all those things after our team had a long meeting last night.

this boldness thing and standing up for what is right isn't just for mission year, it's something i'm going to need throughout my life. i was always a follower growing up. God has shown me that i need to be a leader. in his time i know it will happen. i'm not in a rush to get anywhere. i just know God has a great purpose for my life. i just need to move forward, and don't go backward!