This is long, but heartfelt. Read this, for me.

So, some of you might have caught something in a previous blog of mine about volunteering in New Orleans. Yeah, it's amazing how interesting life can be. As everybody probably knows New Orleans was devestated by hurricane Katrina last year. Some of you might be sick of hearing about it. Some of you probably don't want to hear about it because it's so upsetting to think about. Well, my life may be wrapped up in that hurricane's aftermath for awhile.

Here's a look into my future asperations, my heart, my passions, calling.....my life.

When I was young I needed a change in my life or a was probably going to take it b/c I thought it wasn't worth the trouble anymore. Well, God interveened. He changed Joe Dingwall's life. God used him to get to me. I was afraid of going to youth group because Joe was there. This was when I was 13 and very very very shy. And my Dwaynish tendencies were yet to be revealed. Joe was my worst bully. I prayed for a change in the situation with Joe. And He answered my prayer. God changed Joe's life and Joe apologized to me and became my friend. This allowed me to go to youth group and find God in a very real way. I realized God cared for me and was really there for me. At that point I realized he was real. I decided to live for Him since He gave me my life back. I wouldn't have one if it weren't for God's hand on it anyway.

Ok, so from there I seeked my place in life. I wanted to be used by God. I got really involved in youth group, church, and seeking God. I realized I had gifts in Math, Drawing, Computers, and I was fascinated by buildings. As I looked for colleges as a senior I wondered how God could use these gifts for His Kingdom. Then I went to a conference (CC/Apex) with the youth group. I can't remember which time it was but I remember the multimedia presentation. Not the words, but the images. Burning buildings, bombed buildings, boarded up buildings. Devastation, Destruction, Decay. Inner-cities, Third-World Countries, War Torn Nations. God spoke to me then. It seemed audible. I was crying uncontrollably. I remember it perfectly. He said that He wanted to use me. To restore those places. He's in the business of making things whole again. He showed me the need for Architects and Engineers and people with my talents and abilities. He wants to restore hope and life to places and people that have lost everything. He showed me he had a purpose for my life.

From there I went on to college. I studied Civil Engineering. I was in the top 4% of my class. I got a Job at a Architectural firm through Joe's dad. From there I went on to an engineering firm. I gained experience in surveying there too. I was on my way to gaining the knowledge and ability I needed to use my talents for God. But I didn't like something. It seemed too normal. Work, work, work. Where was the ministry, the helping the needy, the worthwhile part of what I was doing? I decided to shift my focus. I went to Mission Year.

So, I volunteered in Altanta, GA for a year, last year. I lived in the inner-city, I lived and experienced poorness. I learned about social injustice, racism, poverty. There were parodym shifts. My thinking was changed about how to love and serve people in need. How to do so without taking away their dignity. I learned about being a good neighbor and living in community.

Then I went home. It didn't feel the same. Life was too normal, too comfortable, to sheltered from the issues that our world faces. I moved back to Atlanta. I have been planning on going to school and learning more about Engineering, gaining more experience and someday finding a way to use my abilities in a ministry setting. Well, God may have changed my plans for me. Leroy, VP or Mission Year, called a meeting with the alumni of Atlanta. He shared Mission Years interest in expanding their ministry into New Orleans. There's alot of need there and people seem hopeless to find the help and answers they need. I have an opportunity to apply what I've learned. I can be used by God to rebuild this devastated area. Is it coincience that I went to Mission Year and moved back to Atlanta. I haven't fealt complete here. I thought maybe I needed to go back to Albany for awhile. Maybe I made the wrong choice. But then that meeting happened. I talked to Leroys wife a few nights ago about this stuff. She said that perhaps God had me in Atlanta for that meeting. Perhaps my discomfort with life here is because my place is in New Orleans. And it's ironic, too. I remember saying to myself I could nver go to New Orleans. I detested Marti Gras. It seemed like such a wretched place to. I even thought the hurricane was God's wrath due to their sin. Who know's maybe there's something to that. But I know God doesn't just let people stay down, even if He knocks them down. He always lifts you back up. He loves them. He is sending them help. Answering their prayers. And He's going to use people with my abilities and talents to rebuild and restore hope and faith and love to their broken city.

This is my heart. This is what I was created for. Here am I God, use me.

That picture of our house makes it look small but it's a pretty decent size for three guys to live there. I just wanted to get that beautiful tree in the shot. Don't let the blooming tree fool you. It's been cold the past week. It's only been...pffft...in the 50's...psst...........bwahahaa!..snort.

This is where we live now.

A wonderfully random thing happened to me the other day. I was driving home from work, to get ready to see "V for Vendetta". At the time, I was unaware that my roommate Mark gave his friend, Wendy, my cell number (He has no phone of his own. I am usually his contact person). And Wendy was on her way to our house to see Mark. Her Jeep overheated. She was pretty much stranded in downtown Atlanta. So, I get a phone call. It's Wendy. She asked me if I could help, I saw no problem with helping, so I found my way to her.

Upon meeting her I was amazed at how beautiful Wendy is. She got in my car, introduced herself, as did I, shook my hand and thanked me for the help. While we drove I had the fortunate chance of getting to know Wendy a little.

It turns out she is a Christian. And totally on fire for God. Also, I learn that she is working for an organization that disciples young adults. I shared with her how Mark and I knew each other through Mission Year. We talked about our walks with God, serving him, being available to his call, and I got to share about an opportunity to volunteer in New Orleans through Mission Year. I shared about the decisions I have to make soon and the struggle to make the right choice. She shared some scriptures and mentioned Abraham. The way she spoke was refreshing to hear. I could tell she has so much wisdom, insight, and knowledge about God. I was encouraged, challenged, and even convicted in the twenty minutes I got to spend with Wendy. What an awesome person!

Maybe I'll meet her again some day.

I ended up working all day today. It didn't rain a drop. WEATHER PEOPLE ARE AS USELESS AS OUR GOVERNMENT IS!!!!

I wonder why people aren't commenting or tagging, or posting like they used to? DID EVERYONE'S FINGERS SIMULTANEOUSLY BREAK OFF OR SOMETHING!? Anyway, I hope you all have a blessed and wonderful day!

Talked to Walker last night. It's been awhile. We talked for 1-1/2 hours. It was good to catch up on things.

Played ultimate frisbee today. It was drizzling. I need to exercise more, so I thought playing ultimate would help. I can do ok after I catch my second wind. But when I first strart I get out of breath so fast. We were down 3-1 at first but then we rallied to take the lead 4-3. We play to 5 (two games usually). So the other team caught up and it was tied 4-4. But we lucked out on a quick relay down the field and took the win. It took less than a minute to get down the field. We got some lucky passes through their defenders. I could hardly believe we won already. Usually there's like 10 turnovers before a team gets a point.

I think I might not have to work tomorrow. We'll see. Can't get my hopes up. If I go to see "V for Vendetta" tonight I'll be tired tomorrow, unless I don't have to work.

(Previous Post Continued)
The frustrating thing isn't that she said no. I respect how she did it. It was very polite. What frustrated me is how it takes me so long to work up the guts to ask. I play the whole thing out in my mind as if asking someone out was like composing Beethoven's 5th Symphony. And then in 20 seconds I'm back to square one. Not to mention it never happened like I thought it would. The words I wanted to use never came out. I did ask but I had to clerify what I meant by, "Would you like to do something?" I feel so verbally and socially incompetent. Perhaps that's why I'm nearly 25 and I've only had 1 relationship; five, or maybe even six years ago.

Now I wonder if it's ok to ask someone else out. Are you considered a jerk and/or a slimeball for persuing a second interest, if a first doesn't pan out? And to make things interesting, most of the girls I know here in Atlanta are all close friends. So, if I ask someone else out later, she'll already know I asked out her friend not so long ago. What will they think of me then? I wish there was a rule book for asking girls out on a date. what to say, how long should you be friends before considering dating, is it ok to ask out her friend if she already said no...things like that.

So, I threw myself out there and asked someone out. Nothing serious, just dinner or something. Hang out, chat, get to know one another. Dang it! I hate when my mind freezes in the middle of a conversation. I had thought the conversation through the whole time I was driving back to the office in the work van. I knew how I wanted to start the conversation, how I would transition the dialogue into the question, how I was going to word the question. I felt all cool, calm, and collected in my mind. But when it came time to ask the question, I froze. Grrrrrrr!!

This in-between housing situation is proving itself benificial. I have been able to blog more often. My housemate Mark works close to my temporary place of residence. He has internet access here. Ergo, I can blog more frequently with him here and me so close.

I have a cold. I think it's a head cold. Ironically, this cold is making me sweat. It may be a fever. All I know is it's annoying enough to make me cranky but not bad enough to take a day off from work. I almost wish it were worse so I could stay home from work, except I don't want it to be worse. I just want to stay home from work.

I saw "Rent" last night. It was my first musical. It was ok. Musicals aren't quite a guys kind of show. I wouldn't watch it by myself. But it was enjoyable. It was kind of a suprise. Mark and I were moving the last of our stuff and we called Laura to see if we could store some stuff in her spare room. She invited us to watch rent with her and her roommate Cristy. Trying new things can be rewarding. I wasn't sure how the musical would be but I knew even if I didn't like it I had friends to hang out with. Friends make life enjoyable.

I would love to ride my bike to Atlanta. But I think it is outside of my ability. Shipping it will be expensive. Hopefully fixing it won't cost too much. I want to take care of it soon. I'm going to Albany in June and I will know by then if I am going to ride it or not. Spring is almost here already. It's been in the 70's the last few days. But this weekend it's supposed to drop to the 30's. I know it not as cold as up north, but it's still cold.

I wish I had my own laptop with internet. I could blog so much more. Or even post pictures on my blog. It would be cool if people could see some of the places and people I write about. I want to start a music collection, and I could listen to or maybe even download stuff I wanted. Of course I would buy some CD's, you gotta support your favorite musicians! I know Dave and Walker have quite the collection. And I could download stuff from Dave but I'm not sure about Walker's stuff. But yeah, internet would be cool.

We moved out yesturday. But our new place won't be ready until the 10th of March. So until then we're all crashing at different places. I'm at Ryan's, Mike's, and John's place. It's in the Overlook Neighborhood (It overlooks Atlanta. Go figure!) It's cozy and welcoming. It'll be just fine until our other place is cleaned up.

So having a car is making life alittle better. B/C I get home earlier and can get around easier I have had time to mingle with other people. Pretty much everyone is from Mission Year. Either from my year or before my year and now we all stayed and live close by. I've been making friends and really enjoying the QT (Quality Time). Fellowship with other believers is key. If I could share some advice that would be it. And we'll see how things go with the ladies. Right now I'm focusing on getting to know people and making friends. As much as I want to jump right into a relationship, I don't think it would be wise. I don't know anyone as well as I would like to yet. We'll see after that.